Chapter 18 – Time of Thanks and Giving

Praise and Thanks to the Lord

Jeremiah 17:14

“Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be Healed; Save me, and I shall be Saved: for Thou art my praise.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

The weather was just starting to turn a notch cooler with Thanksgiving just ahead. Peter and I had planned to spend it with Marmi, as this would be our first family holiday together and we desired there would be many more in the days to come. We were optimistic at the prospect of travelling to see her more and maybe even have her and her kitties move out to be with us.

The year had been one for my personal record books; those waves were extremely high and extremely low. It is fair to say I had emotional sea sickness and my life felt out of sorts. It was hard to get my heart and mind around the incredible joy of becoming a wife, then a mom, and then devastating sorrow of unexpectedly losing our little precious baby and to losing my best friend without reason. The excitement of having new family was dulled at endless looming losses including the undealt with grief of my dad passing and mourning the estrangement of my much loved younger brother, concerns for my mom all the way across the country, letting go of my established ministry and seeking God for what on earth was happening; some things are just incomprehensible and yet life continues on. I clung to one of my favorite verses from Jeremiah, one that I truly need to hold onto every day: “Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be Healed; Save me, and I shall be Saved: for Thou art my praise.”

New demands were developing in my work, more potential increasing and the expectations surrounding opportunities they were trying to bless me with unfortunately felt more like being in a pressure cooker than a terrific new white water rafting adventure, which I typically enjoy immensely. At any other time in my life promotion and expansion would have been incredible but that was the wrong time for me - my heart knew it and so did my husband. I carried on as I cared very much about what I did and those around me.

Kaiyah, Gideon, and Pumpkin were always such a delight. We would have our furmily outdoor barbeques with all paws on deck out enjoying the yard and sunshine. They would roll around in the grass and layout full stretch getting warm all over. Then they toddled around gingerly stepping on the gravel hoping to find something that would get all three of them together in a huddle to investigate. Kaiyah and I would play “chase and dodge”. We would run fast then she would stop and just when I was about to grab her she would hop out of the way only to repeat the cycle until one of us said, “ok, that’s enough.” Peter and I would take in those moments and we needed them. It is most often the little things that seem to impress gladness upon my heart more than anything especially at that time. I kept counting my blessings one by one and haven’t ever stopped. God is Good.

The time had come for our trip to visit Marmi. Pumpkin had situated himself in the larger of the suitcases and was certain he should go with us. He was adorably disappointed that we had to gently urge him off the clothes and finish packing. Kaiyah and Gideon knew what that meant and they both watched from the hallway looking into the room. Gideon not being a fan of change wound up hiding himself under the bed. Kaiyah and I had had a nice long walk and we all had a good bonding moment. Peter wasn’t used to the entire rig amoral I go through before travelling so it was a new experience for him to be part of. We said our prayers and off we went with suitcases and goodies in tow. Peter and I were up, up and away with Marmi monitoring our whereabouts through her favorite online flight tracker all the way.  

What happy embraces we walked into that day. Marmi held on a bit longer and tears were streaming even with all the smiles. “In everything giving thanks….” we were all doing just that and would press to keep those praises to our Lord going and showing gratitude for one another. The year looked like it had taken quite a toll on my mom too. The unspoken words were loud that day.

I was looking for Marmi’s three amigos to greet us as well. First, was my old boy who totally loved my parents, I had rescued him almost 18 years earlier. He was a tiny kitten brought along by a feral cat family going through the area. The older cats seemed to know this was an okay spot to leave him and so they did but watched from a distance. When I realized what was happening, I of course shared with my parents and well, they knew how I was, and so I went out and kitty called him to come and he did almost straight away. The feral family moved along and he was ours to love. When I moved away he was gratefully surrounded by his furmily and my folks. He was an easy one to be around sweet, friendly and smart. He was the first Gideon in the family, with soft gray short hair and a touch of white on paws and chest with the gentlest light yellowish green eyes. I noticed he was much frailer at that time but still getting around just much slower.

I asked about Butterscotch as he would come and go. Butterscotch had disappeared. Marmi said he was older and a stubborn fellow who would do his own thing and he had been unwell. She communicated that she thought he might have just gone off to die alone and if that was the way he wanted it well that was the way it was. I could tell she missed him terrible and was still hopeful he would swagger his way back into the house. It was an unresolved loss and it was heartbreaking to hear. He was one undomesticated man cat and Marmi and Pops had had quite a time with him over the years. They had been through a lot with his wild ways and yet super affectionate personality. Butter, as Mom affectionately called him, was an old scrapper of a cat who had won both their hearts and he loved them. It was no surprise he grieved the loss of my dad, and my mom the both of them.

Little black panther Buddy, was a hide-away cat. He had also been a feral kitten that was adopted. He was much smaller than my Gideon back home but still had the same sleek shiny black fur. Buddy had big glowing yellow eyes and the kindest loving little personality you could imagine in direct contrast his fraidy-cat behavior. He made a quick showing looked me in the eyes and left in a dash.

We talked about everything we could on that trip and praised the Lord all along the way. Mom and I had some special conversations about many things: some hurtful, some helpful, but all from the heart. Marmi wanted me to cook the Thanksgiving meal and I was truly honored to do so. Preparing the meal she had taught me when I was just a little girl and had me do many times throughout my years was extra special that time. Preparing that for my husband and mom in that home was surreal. We had Jose and Isabella joining us too and it was a lovely time.

Peter and I decided to celebrate as much as we could with her as well and made all the preparations and got her gifts and decorations to make it as special as could be. We both felt such a strong desire to bless her and surround her with as much love and as many happy thoughts as possible. It was a great surprise for her and she embraced the whole of it. It is always good to give thanks for everything our Lord Jesus has done and continues to do for all…all year round.

As often happens, the unexpected information and request of my mom while we were there this time had to do with Gideon. As we were nearing our return home Mom told us that sweet old boy Gideon was dealing with serious health complications and wanted Peter and I to take her and him to the vet so he could mercifully be released from his pains. We were both stunned and saddened by the request. I spent time loving on him and tried to encourage a moment between him and Buddy as he would not be coming back home. Mom watched me a lot during that experience and encouraged me to cry which she never did at any other point in my life. We surrounded Gideon and Mom with compassion and tenderness. We stood together and wept softly as we said good-bye for now to the sweet smart friendly kitty named Gideon. There was a lot of grief in that quiet room. I was incredibly thankful for Peter’s strength and tender prayers for us. Another happy time interrupted by grief and sadness.

Leaving my mom was once again terribly hard for obvious reasons. Plus I had noticed she was not as strong and her ability to stand was definitely affected by hurts she would not discuss beyond saying that she was getting old. Although she did share a few things she was experiencing. She was coughing and clearly having moments of pain which she was doing her best to keep off our radars. And yet she still maintained her humor and mental crossword puzzle calisthenics. My Marmi was not doing well and even with encouragement from both of us said she didn’t need to go to the doctor and that Jesus Knew and would take care of her. We spoke of her coming out to be with us and many other suggested happy thoughts to give her opportunity to pray and consider. She had me take messages to Kaiyah and the boys and said things I will always cherish. Those hugs were long and tight accompanied by tears and tissues. The drive to the airport was a long one that day.

The flight was smooth and before we knew it we were warmly welcomed and whisked away by sis Nicole, who kindly had picked us up at the airport and delivered us safely home. It was so good to see her. The furbabies were happy and overall excited to see us. We let Mom know we were home safe and sound and that her messages and loves were delivered. Kaiyah had that concerned momma dog look and knew immediately I needed a mission hike as soon as possible and to play with the kitties, always good medicine when out of sorts and discombobulated. Her curly tail and the official Pumpkin rolls were definitely helping and my Gideon, was ME-OWy happy to see us and let us know after he finally came out and gave me the scolding “where were you” look. It was good to be home. Peter and I had a lot on our mind and decided we both needed Kaiyah to take us on a mission hike… well more like a few with a bonus for Peter that included a photo shoot at Pinnacle Peak.

…Until we meet again…