Chapter 44 – Pumpkinito

God My Anchor

Psalm 33:22

“Let Thy Mercy, O LORD, be upon us, according as we hope in Thee.”

Hebrews 6:19

“Which Hope we have as an Anchor (Jesus Christ) of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;”

Yes, trusting in the God of my mercy was exactly what I was doing but emotions sometimes have a different story to tell. I was upset. I was working it through, we both were.

During the week after that unpleasant “house visit” I continued to pack a few things up in boxes setting them aside in one space of our home. I had noticed that Kaiyah and the kitties seemed a bit more to themselves during the day staying warm and quiet. Kaiyah’s appetite was good. Gideon always was eager to have his meal, and Pumpkin’s if he could get it.

Pumpkin was a grazer. So I regularly monitored and managed his eating habits. I made sure to put his bowl safely out of the reach of Gideon’s kibble “vacuum.” Peter had come up with that reference, and rightly so, as Gideon moved in fast and furious leaving the bowls without a trace of food. Pumpkin in his gentle kitten-like manner would eat until happy, rest a while, then give me that baby face look of “I’m ready for more now,” watch the incoming delivery, eat what he wanted and the cycle repeated itself throughout the day until he was done. Toward the end of that week I noticed Pumpkin had slowed down on his food requests. I made a mental note of it. He had done that on rare occasion over the years but always resumed his normal eating patterns. I wasn’t sure if it was from the potential move - cats don’t like change too much, or the whole ordeal that had happened at our home by the people supposedly “looking” at our house, or something internal, although he had been given a clean bill of health from his doctor and his damaged tooth had long healed. I didn’t know, so I put it to prayer and gave him some extra tender loving care.

Pumpkin was younger than Gideon by a couple years but always seemed kitten-like even as he matured. Calling him a grown kitten fit him nicely. As a kitten he liked to hide in purses, bags, bowls and boxes. He would sneak outside like lightning if the door was open wide enough. He was playful and smart. He was a valiant kitty not afraid of anything and was an avid non-lethal creeping thing finder. He would signal with his sweet expression of “I found it!” sitting right where it was. He even pointed with his paw or bent his head toward it, or stared intently if it was beyond his reach until we could do our part. It didn’t matter if it was a scorpion, spider, water bug, moth, gecko, or what have you, if he found it he would report it. Sometimes Gideon or Kaiyah would make additional verifications and watch as one of us cared to catch and release to safer more appropriate places for said critter.

He had such a cute mew and only on rare occasion, and I mean rare, did he ever meow like he was full grown. Ever the affectionate, attentive, cozy, sociable sweetheart he won hearts whenever someone would meet him, especially Kaiyah’s. He liked to stand up on his back two paws and look into places or to see if he could find a place to snuggle next to you or on your lap. At times I called him “Pumpkinito” and sang a little Spanish heroic tune as he often reminded me of a sweet, honest, innocent version of Puss in Boots. Our Pumpkin was a long-haired ginger cat whose personality and looks just warmed the heart and brightened the day. He was Kaiyah’s best kitty friend, Gideon’s buddy and Cotton’s pal. He was always such a comfort to me especially after the losses of our babies. His warmth and purrs were always welcome.

Of all the kitties I have had the privilege and pleasure to share my journey, Pumpkin was the only one who would totally snuggle down with me at night. He knew right where to park himself on the covers to not get rolled over by me during the night and still be close enough for me to hear his soft purrs and feel the warmth that his little body emanated. Having a bed cat was an adjustment for Peter and we discussed it a number of times. Thankfully we worked that out for all our sakes. Gideon rarely would bless us with his company but found he rather enjoyed his living room cozy spots, or to visit when we would have quiet time in bed talking, reading our Bibles, or when the bed was unoccupied and he could just snuggle into the comforter, but it wasn’t often.

Pumpkin was protective and attentive. He liked to watch out the windows from his towers and alert of anything he thought might need to be addressed. Both of the fur boys were that way. I was amazed that they were better “watch dogs” than Kaiyah. Pumpkin was notorious for trying to sleep with family house guests even sneaking in to rooms where the door was closed or almost closed. I’m not sure how he would open the door as I never saw him do that but he would find his way to snuggle next to a visiting family member or friend. Marmi especially loved that he did that when she visited and thought he was very smart to have figured that out. She tried to catch him doing it but she was unsuccessful. Marmi was grateful for his cozy purrs and company during her visit at my home the week Peter and I were married. I have wondered if he discerned that she was dealing with cancer and other complications before we all would come to know months later. Pumpkin had a gift from the Lord knowing who was in need of a little extra love and affection even if they didn’t know it themselves. His ministry was quite special that way.

As that week came to a close on Saturday, I noticed he wasn’t eating much but rather nibbled. He did only a little grooming but that was not unusual. He preferred to be groomed with his special brush and comb. If he had matted clumps develop Furdaddy would use our electric clipper to very gently, mindful of tender places and not too close to his skin, and patiently - remove them one by one. Although he was grateful afterwards he was not the biggest fan of the handling that went with the electric clipper but it was faster and better for those clumps of fur than the comb or brush. Of course treats found their way to him once all was said and done but he still let us know, beyond the shadow of any doubt, that it was not a real joy for him.

I didn’t think too much about the food nibbling as that tended to happen when a fur ball ejection time was coming. I ask the Lord to help Pumpkin with anything he might be dealing with and left it at that and kept food nearby even in our bedroom should he ask. We proceeded to take care of things that Sunday and were discussing concerns we had about the timing of the housing market and the ickies we still had from the house visit ordeal. We were both emotionally worn out and were mindful of the toll the whole thing was having on us and our animals. We finally decided to go to sleep after Bible time and prayers.

As I made my way to bed I noticed Pumpkin near the kitty box. I heard him scratch and then make his exit. I laid there quietly talking in my heart to the Lord and waiting for Pumpkin to join us as was his custom. I had put his food on the floor in the corner near my side of the bed just in case he wanted something to eat. I was used to that quiet expectation of his company, hoping that after he would come so would a good night’s sleep.

At long last I heard him come into the room. After head nudging his way past the privacy curtain we had at our entry door I could hear his soft paw steps walking over our carpet. He found the food dish and ate a few pieces. He then hopped up with ease and curled close to me higher by my neck and head. I felt that sweet feeling that accompanied his arrival and was relieved he had a little food on his way to his cozy spot for the night. I whispered softly petting him gently, “There’s my Pumpkin.” His purr was deep and steady.

It wasn’t even five minutes before I heard him exhale in a funny way and then a faint gurgle. It was totally dark in our room so I couldn’t see what was happening. He was perfectly still. I immediately whispered his name tenderly, “Pumpkin… Pumpkin? Sweetheart…?” He did not respond... I tenderly stroked him alongside his face and chest and whispered while slowly getting louder, “Pumpkin, Pumpkin… Lord Jesus, help my Pumpkin….” I paused with reality hitting me hard, “I love you Pumpkinito… oh no Papa God… Pumpkin?” I rushed to the light switch telling Peter that I thought Pumpkin just passed away. He slowly registered what I was saying and began to get up. I looked at Pumpkin’s peaceful very still warm body and knew he was gone but I couldn't handle it. I gently picked him up, held him close, and quickly carried him to the living room where I would not disturb Cotton any more than I had already and I had more light and space. I could hardly breathe or see through all the tears. It felt like I was taking Pumpkin to the feet of Jesus to help me and, if He was Willing, put back life in my precious Pumpkin. I was in shock. I knew how to resuscitate from training years prior but a steady unseen Hand Quieted me in the midst of my weeping and crying out to God, asking Him not to take Pumpkin and telling the Lord how much I loved him. Pumpkin was gone.

Peter joined me but I was inconsolable at that moment. He prayed and tried to quiet my breaking heart and deal with the sudden loss of our Pumpkin too. Gideon had come over to see Pumpkin, sniffed, looked at me and Peter and walked not too far and laid down with a small meow and watched as we attended to Pumpkin. Once again God’s Mercy settled me in with the reality of the situation. And in the warm secure embrace of my husband, I knew Pumpkin was really gone and was now asleep in Jesus. After the quiet came, Kaiyah came out from her room and took a look at everything. She noticed Pumpkin laying on his ice blue blanket and had a far away deep recognition as she walked by but did not stay or linger. She walked over by Gideon, stood there by him a few moments before getting a little water and very humbly and slowly walked back toward her cozy space. I did pet her as she passed us and told her Pumpkin was gone. She already knew. I delicately hugged her and off she went with her tailie very low. There was so much emotion in that room.

After a few moments I went and found a nice box to put Pumpkin in. He loved boxes I reminded myself. His remains would need to be taken care of. I carefully placed him in with his blanket, wrapped him like I was tucking him in bed. Peter prayed for our little family and thanked the Lord for Pumpkin and how much he blessed our lives. We invited the Lord once again to have His Peace Rule our hearts and Keep us all under His Wings. Tears flowed along with Comfort from our Heavenly Father. It was a long very raw night.

Early the next morning we contacted the veterinarian’s office and let them know about Pumpkin. They couldn’t have been kinder. Peter and I wrote loving words all over the box prior to us taking him over to be cremated for burial.

As we headed back toward home we stopped by the post office. It was strange how that very day there was a woman in a nearby vehicle that looked just like Rachel, my once very dear friend whom I had rescued Pumpkin with and later gave me Pumpkin after my father died. She then walked away from our friendship for unknown reasons after Peter and I were married. That lady was wearing an outfit very similar to one I had seen Rachel wear many times before, and she was crying right next to me on the passenger side of the vehicle she was in but made no attempts to connect but did look over a few times and with her phone. I was pretty filled with grief and just prayed quietly as I waited for Peter to take us home. That visual encounter made that moment all the more heavy with sadness for me. Peter and I weren’t sure what to make of that as it had been many years. She was many states away from us and there had been zero contact. Once again we surrendered that whole thing to the Lord while grieving our Pumpkin.

We weren’t sure if something had happened to Pumpkin as he passed away just a week from that horribly unpleasant house visit. Peter confirmed with the doctor that Pumpkin had not been hurt or poisoned. The doctor was rather certain Pumpkin just had a heart attack and went swiftly and with no pain. Thank God Peter took the time to get answers to those stinging thoughts and for the comforting words from the doctor. We both were relieved to know that it must have just been little Pumpkin’s time as unexpected as it was.

To add to the growing list of unusual things that had already occurred, we oddly enough heard from our realtor after just a few days. She wanted us to take our home off the market for the next month or so. We had already decided we needed to do just that and so we did. We needed time to heal, to regroup and to reconsider what we were trying to accomplish. We had a lot to process.

We all needed more bonding time and extra treats. Kaiyah was forlorn and lonesome but well as she could be. Gideon seemed alright but wanted to be closer and found himself often in my lap. Cotton was okay and adjusted well into more bonding and exercise time. He did look for Pumpkin down by his cage as they often sunbathed together. It was hard for all of us. Pumpkin had filled a big space in my heart. We had been through many things together and his ministry to me was one of a kind. God alone knows how special each life is and He Knew the impact that tiny little kitten would have on all our lives. There was joy and healing that he brought Kaiyah when she was brokenhearted over her puppies and everything she had been through. The way he worked together with Gideon on many an adventure and helped Gideon learn to not be so intense. The way he was gentle with new bird friends and Cotton his very own cockatiel parrot pal who free-flew and landed on him. He was the cat who taught Peter that being close to kitties is a good thing and that he was a good gentle Furdaddy even when dealing with matted fur balls.

Though grief-striken by the sudden loss of Pumpkin and the strange circumstances occurring around that time, Jesus our Hope and Anchor was Holding us, Comforting and Healing our broken hearts. There will be a day when we hear Pumpkin’s sweet mews and purrs again and his super soft ginger and cream fur, pluff-of-a-tail, welcome home Pumpkin rolls and sweet kitten-like baby face, and that will be the day we see all our other critter friends who are resting in peace. Pumpkinito will hear me sing his special tune and snuggle with all of us again. That will be a very special day when Jesus, my Savior and the Maker of all these precious souls, and those that love and obey Him, are reunited forever and ever.