Chapter 47 – We Will Run Again

God Who Loves Man and Beast

Psalm 36:5-7

“Thy mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; and Thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds. Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; Thy judgments are a great deep: O LORD, Thou preservest man and beast. How excellent is Thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the Shadow of Thy Wings.” 

Isaiah 40:31

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

It was a big change for all of us. We were grateful, and did our best to live minimally. Living out of a few boxes in rooms filled with Peter’s family belongings; we weren’t sure where to put things or not put things. Peter and I aren’t the kind of people to mess with other people’s belongings even if they are our family. Respecting people’s privacy and property was how I was raised and it is a way that pleases my Lord as well. Pops always said don’t touch it if it’s not yours. He also quite often reminded me, as I liked to use his tools, if you had permission, put things back exactly where you got them from. It was important for me to keep that wise practice as I had learned to do, and so I did.

Kaiyah had her little corner tucked in the back of the room away from the entrance. We also kept a couple of the boxes for clothes in the already furniture laden space. Her favorite blankets were made to her preference as best as could be. Her food bowl and personal watering station were also close by for ease of access. Her medicine often made her more thirsty so extra water was set-up. She could enjoy some that was available for Gideon in the kitchen tucked in a side spot by the kitchen table. Even though she had those options she preferred to drink out of a glass baking pan that Peter’s dad kept outside for the visiting critters. I couldn’t believe how she would drink and drink until there was nothing left; sometimes a few times a day. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before we would see Kaiyah further declining. It was hard on all of us to watch that happening to our beautiful Lady Kaiyah. But at least we were all together as a family.

Gideon was spunky and very talkative especially in the early morning with Peter’s momma. He really liked being by her so much and wanted to share everything on his heart that he could. And she would talk quietly with him and give him special treats. I appreciated her kindness and patience with him. She also did her upmost to quiet him with others sleeping, and for her special morning prayers and quiet time with the Lord as she watched the day begin. I think he knew something very important and wanted to tell her. He never really was like that at any other time.

Cotton continued to be a sparkling white gem of feathers to all of us. He had his special place in the corner of the dining area. Peter and I kept our little goodnight song routine in place for him and eventually would bring him back to the room with us. It was better for him and for the family.

The continued strain and tensions increased and would reach levels of intensity that left both Peter and I reeling from the confrontations and overwhelmed with confusion and pain that resulted from the unexpected outbursts. We were clearly in a firing zone and we had only Jesus to run to. We felt overwhelmed. I clung to the Lord’s Words in Joshua 1:9, “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” We knew the Lord brought us there and would take care of us. We chose to abide in Him and ride out the storm, He was with us. He had His Reasons.

Every fruit of Holy Spirit in our lives was put in the press of trial during that time. Some encounters left us completely shocked and in disbelief. Peter and I weren’t perfect in reacting to the words and things said or done, or the emotions that came with them; and we were sorry for that - we could always handle things better. There also was the added collision between their faith traditions and the Biblical Truth we were obeying that simply contradicted the traditions. That is what Peter’s dad called controversy and indeed he was absolutely correct. Our Scriptural walk of faith was an affront. The aggression was front and center and was quite particular in the timing of our observances. We all professed love for God in Christ Jesus and that is critically important. I may share more on this at another occasion because we learned a lot from that experience. But we did not do to them what was done to us however, we did try to communicate on a few occasions. We weren’t there to attack anyone.

Although we disagreed on some things we respected their free-will choice and the liberty of their conscience to choose to do as they will. We held that line because we knew our God is this way with the whole of humanity; Peter and I want to make sure to follow His Example. Admittedly, we always want to be able to share God’s Word and our hearts openly in discussion; how else can we learn and understand one another - but it must always be in Agape; God’s Love, self-less and unconditional. God never forces us, love never forces… and we who love and want to obey God should want to follow Jesus our Lord in all things; that is a work only He is able to do in us so He can work through us; but it comes with my, our, submitting to Him. I’m still learning and will be as long as I have breath in my body. Praise God as Psalm 145:8 reveals, “The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.” … verily, verily, Perfect in all His Ways.

The unseen tempest was gaining force. And in the midst of all that was happening with family, and the pending sale of our home and other factors, our dear precious little Kaiyah was silently weakening before our eyes. It was becoming clear Peter and I would be facing a very difficult time of decision soon but at the right time. My heart was already riddled with compounded grief including anticipatory grief, the intense sorrow felt before a loss, and we were in the thick of much disenfranchised grief - the grief that comes with disappointments and the decisions made by others and situations. It was crushing. The Wings of the Lord were Sheltering us and our little animals. I was reminded in my heart, that anything that affected us had to go through Him first and that He took the brunt of everything. We needed to remain under and close to Him and praise Him for such a Love as His.

We were in much prayer for all of us and everything, wanting only God’s Will in all of it. It was a lot of change for everyone. We questioned everything we had been told by the family and understood and thought we were welcomed. But that isn’t exactly what we were being told or were experiencing. Trust was being shattered. Peter and I found ourselves visiting two places of worship closer to our faith. One was on the far end of the valley and the other just outside of it to the northwest. There the Lord Provided a few precious souls who listened, encouraged and were praying for us. They even blessed us with vittles as part of the fellowship. The time we shared with them was very important and helpful through the thick of things. Some of those brothers and sisters in Christ knew what we were going through as they had been through something like it themselves or knew someone who had. Thank God for each of them.

I had already contacted Kaiyah’s vet to let them know what was happening and to obtain additional medicine for her. They were concerned and recommended we find someone local to take her to for evaluation. I took the steps necessary to find just the right team and location. God, as always, Provided and they were open on Sundays which was an answer to prayer for us and we made the appointment for the coming Sunday morning.

Kaiyah was grateful for her mission hikes. That morning we had much on our heart regarding her. I was in tears as we walked the well trodden path. It was a beautiful morning full of sunshine, soft blue skies, a few whispy white clouds and a gentle breeze grazing across the softened rain replenished desert. We walked hand in hand as we let our Kaiyah take us where it made her happy to go. She went far that day and was stronger than we’d seen in a while. She had her smile and curlie tailie bouncing a bit more as she made her way up and around. The sounds of birds chirping sounded like a cheering team of old friends encouraging their buddy in an important race. A few even followed us; doves, cactus wrens and a mockingbird with a full playlist of tunes and plenty of humorous antics.

At one point I was reminiscing out loud and asked Kaiyah if she wanted to try to jog a little with me as we used to do. It was an utter surprise and joyful delight that right near where we used to play tailie chase that she started picking up a faster pace with a little hop. I couldn’t believe it and we went along for as long as she wanted. She was happy and we even played tailie chase a little and she did her happy doggy horse trot as we made our way back toward home. She seemed strong and full of life in that moment and I whistled her tune as we embraced the moment of joy together. It was a precious gift I never thought I would experience with her again in this lifetime. Tears of joy streamed and Peter and I were praising the Lord, hugging each other and loving on His sweet Kaiyah as we slowed before walking to the house. She was beautiful to see running again with her curlie tailie high and her wild quiet elegance shining forth almost making me forget her weary and aging body. It was a precious miracle.

After getting a good drink of water we carefully loaded her in the back of the SUV and headed to the vet for an evaluation. Our hearts were happy and full of praise as we got to the parking lot and found our spot. Kaiyah almost tried to hop down on her own, a big no-no, so I carefully helped her down and she slowly made her way to the waiting room. It wasn’t long before they had us in a room waiting for the new vet. They were pleasant and professional and examined her closely. We learned that Kaiyah was even more deteriorated in her lower spine and back legs which made the morning even more special. The vet was letting us know there wasn’t much else to do for our Lady Kaiyah but one thing, a shot that would go into her back where the greatest concern was. After the morning we had, it was hard to see she was ready to say good-bye yet we didn’t want her hurting.

Peter and I took several minutes to prayerfully decide what to do. I was totally torn. Peter felt strongly to try the shot and if it didn’t work quickly and do what it was hoped to do we would know clearly what the next step would be. I agreed. We had once again asked the Lord for His Wisdom and Counsel. And that was where Peace was in the decision. The caring lady vet administered the shot. Kaiyah didn’t seem fazed at all. We took care of business and headed home with extra careful attentiveness to Kaiyah and prepared ourselves as best as we could for whatever outcome would result. As always, it was in the Lord’s Merciful Hands.

The next few days revealed that our Kaiyah was not improving as we had hoped. She was in some ways steady but began losing her balance, seemed out of sorts more, and still our noble brave girl wanted her mission hikes as short as they were. She was hardly eating by the end of the week. She had steadily declined. I loved on her as much as I could. I knew it was time. I tried to be thoughtful to let Peter’s family say good-byes. Not everyone deals with death and dying the same - that is a fact. And I know not everyone feels the way I do about loving and caring for animals. Thankfully Peter and I were at least on the same page. That very Friday morning we made the call.

Gideon and Cotton got to have special moments with Kaiyah as well. Gideon seemed to know already and meowed and lay nearby looking at her before a headbump to her chest was given. Cotton was quiet and looked intently. Peter’s parents seemed relieved and saddened at the same time. We gave Kaiyah love from her Auntie Woof as we had let her know it was time and that is what she wanted us to do. We took Kaiyah out to her desert one more time and carried her back in prior to her final trip in the old SUV. Peter and I had a little more prayer along with words affirming our sweet girl just a bit more before loading our “vertical dog”, as Peter lovingly referred to her during the lifting process, gently onto her cozy blanket bed in the back of the SUV. Peter’s parents said their loving good-byes. As Peter pet her I held her head in my hands and kissed her forehead. We closed the door for her one last little ridie.

Peter drove us. Even though the tears streamed and our hearts were breaking it was the right time, no doubt about it. No more pain for our little curlie tailed Alaskan husky. As we made that final ridie with our Kaiyah we sang her special song to her one more time: “Kaiyah the dog, Kaiyah the dog, Kaiyah the dog is a real dog…” In the midst of our deep sorrow that was a special joyful moment to have shared. Once we arrived, I couldn’t believe that she again tried to stand and hop out. Furdaddy gently took her out. She couldn’t stand very well so he carried her in, placed her softly down as the receptionist acknowledged we were there.

Before we knew it we were led to a private room with the floor made to look like a warm soft bed where the table usually extends. They had made the place very comfy for Kaiyah. A few minutes went by and in came an over-the-top kind assistant who made sure everything was in place for the doctor and said to take all the time we needed. They went out of their way to make Kaiyah happy. All the staff, including the doctor, came in and celebrated Kaiyah - petting on her, offering her goodies, which I couldn’t believe she ate some of, it was overwhelming and fit for our Lady Kaiyah. Peter and I had plenty of time to take in as much time with her as possible. Then the moment came.

The doctor, who we discovered also believed in Jesus, came in quietly and with much caring spoke with Kaiyah and us shortly after the special assistant had prepared Kaiyah for the injections. I was on the floor by Kaiyah’s head stroking her ears, the rough of her neck, and head down to her old worn paws to the tip of her curlie tailie. Peter was by me and took time to speak his heart and gently pet our real dog for the last time. As the final moments came we all encouraged Kaiyah to rest in Jesus. She was relaxed. As the process began I held her as I stroked her soft warm head watching and telling her how much I loved her. Once more I thanked her for her trust, her friendship and everything including the many things she helped me learn and remember from the Heart of our God and Creator. She was His husky first and foremost and His Love for her was all over.

A few seconds after the first administration Kaiyah suddenly turned to look straight into my eyes with the most intense soulful expression; it was so strong that it surprised me. It was full of meaning, gratitude and joy. It was like she looked right into me with such a deep and precious connection - one that was incredibly stronger than when we first met all those many years prior. I whispered to her I loved her for keeps, that we all loved her, and that we would play and run again. Then the final administration was delivered with prayerful soft whispers and thanks to God for our Kaiyah Takota. “We will run again… love you Kaiyah… rest in Jesus my sweet girl,” I said brokenly through my tears as she swiftly drifted away sweetly before our eyes in her own beautifully novel, humbly silent and graceful way. My friend Kaiyah Takota had gone to sleep. Rest peacefully sweet Kaiyah….

 …Until we meet again…